My Brother Paul

My brother Paul was one of the funniest people I have ever known. Now that he is gone all I have is memories and I must say………….Life is very boring without him around. Paul was mentally disabled, but he was also very high functioning. He had a personality that was both toxic and innocent at the same time.

I want to start writing and sharing some Paul stories on my blogs, so people can learn what we had in our lives.



One thing about Paul was that his relationship with animals was not a good one. Every pet we had hated him with a passion. They say animals can sense things about people, and I guess all of our pets learned really quick that there was something about Paul they didn't like.

My Mom and my stepfather Marty owned a carpet cleaning business. My stepfather always had a tendency to forget that Paul wasn't like everyone else and would put us all in stupid situations that would end in disaster.

Marty (As you will see he never learned a single lesson from dealing with Paul) had this guy working for him named John and he had a miniature Doberman named Rebel! Rebel was a little bigger than a Chihuahua and very yappy with his barking. Whenever Rebel saw Paul he always started barking and making noise. One day Marty and Paul are sitting on the couch watching TV together when John comes in with Rebel. The dog starts his barking shit at Paul (I don't know what Paul did to this dog and I never want to know) Marty finally gets fed up and comes up with a brilliant plan………..Brilliant as far as Marty is concerned. He picks up rebel and says matter of fact "You two are going to learn to be friends" and promptly places Rebel on Paul's lap!

As soon as Rebel's paws touched Paul's pants the dog literally BLEW shit 4 feet across the room, spraying Marty and the couch, and continued to blow shit until Paul finally let him go! Another brilliant idea of Marty's foiled by Paul!

I don't know what in Marty's mind thought that the dog was just going to all of a sudden like Paul, but either way it was great for a few laughs. The sight of Marty with this satisfied look on his face as he placed the dog on Paul, and the immediate change to horror as supersonic shit was flying into his face and all over his clothes was priceless. It's moments like those that make you glad you're alive!



When you see retarded people on TV they always show you the struggles that they have. But they never show you the real story!

Corky on the TV show Life goes on, only had minor worries like getting on a bus to go to school. They didn't tell you that Corky had no control over his body and masturbated like a mad man. And this was exactly what Paul had a problem with in his life.

I guess Paul felt he was an expert at pud pulling and he was always in search of Vaseline or lotion.

The problem was Paul couldn't read to save his life! Yeah he could write his name ok but that was about it, he got through life knowing what brand names he liked by the familiarity of the packaging, whether if it was cigarettes or soda.

So one day when my family was living in Missouri my mom hears Marty yell "God damnit Delores come out here and see what's wrong with this idiot!"

My mom comes out of the back room and see's Paul racing naked around the kitchen table, into the living room, back into the kitchen………..the whole time hopping and yelling "Woo Woo Woo."

As she gets closer and gets him to stop for a second she understood what the problem was. Paul was supposed to be in the bathroom taking a shower, but instead Paul had decided to "relax" himself a little. Instead of grabbing the lotion, he grabbed a handful of

"Icy Hot," this muscle ache stuff that starts off cold and then heats up dramatically. I can only wonder what went through Paul's mind as he applied the cool soothing cream and then sat there pulling his Pud as it turned fiery hot! My mom had to put him in the shower and get him to wash himself really good to get it off. Then of course she got on the phone and told everyone! This stuff was too good to keep to yourself!



If you like these stories let me know and I will write out more………….I have a million of them……….Enjoy!